As the Smoke finally clears…

The title seems fitting, considering Seattle has been submerged in a cloud of smoke for the what feels like forever (maybe 2 weeks? I can’t remember anymore.)…

It rained last night and the smoke has finally started to clear and what we’re left with is what feels like the beginning of fall.

The leaves are flowing in the street and where the smoke once was, now we have grey clouds with the sun fighting to peak through.

This is my last week working in Veterinary medicine.

Maybe.

I have had the privilege of working relief at a clinic in North Seattle due to a referral from a wonderful veterinarian I previously worked with years ago. We had been Facebook friends and fellow beachbody coaches on our journey seeking financial freedom and more time at home. She had posted on Facebook that the clinic she was working at was seeking FT, PT and relief techs — I took advantage of the opportunity and went to work.

What a great place to come in to. So welcoming and happy to have an extra hand. The veterinarian had talked me up and made me blush when I had others come to me saying how excited they were to work with someone so experienced. I was flattered, especially since I hadn’t worked with her in almost 2.5 years.

But now I have an opportunity I have to take.

I’m scared, but I know that I have to start somewhere.

So here starts my last week working in veterinary medicine. But like I said previously, maybe. Cause Lord knows, if it doesn’t work out – I can always go back.

I’ve been more emotional that normal. Usually I’m very good at approaching my feelings logically and realistically. But now I find myself crying at the drop of a hat.

What’s wrong, you ask?

I think everything is starting to sink in. The next month is going to go by so fast and so many big changes are happening. My heart is invested in things more than I’d realized and when I sit back and try to look at the last 3 months, it’s overwhelming.

“It’s hard for you to love Jackie, because you’ve only been able to focus on surviving. Someone will appreciate that about you. You just have to meet the right person who makes you stop worrying about surviving.” — my mom, yesterday in the car.

We were talking about how much my life has changed since last year. I’ve already taken you down the road once or twice before, so I wont do it again. Otherwise it’ll start to look like I’m seeking sympathy, which, let’s be clear — I am not.

I was telling her about how Monday is such a big day for me. On top of being a super busy one. Not only do I find out if the guy I met in May, who left in July – who has text me every single day the 4 weeks he’s been gone – will be returning to Seattle or not. I have an appointment with Swedish’s employee health nurse which is the LAST thing I have to do prior to starting my new job on the 21st. I have an appointment at 1pm with my therapist & an appointment at 4pm with my life coach. Oh, and I’m getting a haircut – so there’s that, too.

This may seem so silly, but I’m going to share anyway.

Anytime there is a significant change in my life, I cut my hair. It’s funny how the last time I actually substantially cut my hair was right before my 28th birthday. The year EVERYTHING changed. Which would basically start the snowball that would move into my 29th year here, and I can only hope brings more positive than negative things for my 30th.

I know change is inevitable, but I’m really hoping for GOOD things this year instead of traumatic, dramatic, painful events.

With friends moving away, me continuing to live alone (with the exception of Butts & Todd), I am reminded now more than ever that this journey I am on is not mine to choose or decide. There is a reason for everything. In the darkness, you can always find light. When you’re in pain, remember things get better. I may not be where I thought I would at 30, but guess what — I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Because even though there are things I want or would like for myself, as my mother would say…

“It’s good to want for things, Jackie.” — thanks mom.

Cheers to my last week as a vet tech. For next monday I begin my new journey.

 

Until next time,

Xo-Jack

Advertisements

One thought on “As the Smoke finally clears…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s